Home > Life Thoughts > Two sides to the story

Two sides to the story

For those of you expecting the next installment of my World Changers posts, my apologies.. I will get back to them.  I had to interject this post because its just a way cool thought that hit me last night as I was talking to a young man about dating.

The young man and I were discussing how the female gender is forever strange to us and not so easily figured out.  One thing we agreed on was that most ladies shared the common desire to be pursued by the man of their dreams.  They want to feel like they are desired above all other women to the man that they give their hearts to… and that is just how it should be.

I used Jacob and Rachel as an example from the bible on how well a man could pursue a lady.  I, mean, how many women would not be flattered by a man that was willing to work 14 years for her hand in marriage.  (Let’s leave Leah out of this discussion because in today’s society it just confuses the picture 🙂  ).

Imagine.  14 years of toil in order to marry the girl that captured your heart.  I don’t know about you, but there was a big difference in the girl that I met at 17 and the woman I was married to at 31.  A lot of changes occur over the span of 14 years – some good and some not so good (if my wife is reading this… all your changes were GREAT!).  It just blows me away to think that Jacob waited 14 years…not just waited, but worked.  Seven of those years after being horn-swaggled by his future father-in-law, but that didn’t deter him.  He just kept on pursuing the woman of his dreams.

Young men.  There is an example of the kind of devotion that your future bride should stir up inside of you.  And THAT kind of devotion doesn’t even match the devotion that Christ showed to His church… which is what men are called to in their love for their wives.

In Paul Harvey like fashion, I have to share the part that is really, really cool about this story.

Jacob pursued Rachel for 14 years.  BUT.. and get this… She WAITED for him during those 14 years.  She shared in that pursuit by honoring Jacob’s devotion.  She didn’t play coy or hard-to-get.  We are not told that she wished she could be free to chase after some other man or that she relished the fact that Jacob had to work so long to have her hand in marriage.  Her pure devotion is displayed in her patience to wait on him.

I don’t know that we can fully appreciate that story in our society where we demand everything to be accomplished now so that we can assuage our need for instant-gratification.

In our desire for instant everything, we build the foundation of our relationships from pre-fab bricks of expectation when they need to be built from stones that have been hand-fit by those who will live upon that foundation.  It takes time to shape those types of blocks but once they are in place they become a fortress against a life of storms.

They become a place of celebration.

And ladies, isn’t that what you want?

What dating advice would you give to young people who are trying to build a future together?

  1. July 17, 2009 at 3:45 am

    Short term gratification/satisfaction of a want is no substitute for long term contentment and our Heart’s TRUE desire.

    It is an illusion, a weak attempt of the flesh to copy what our soul longs for but is unable to achieve ‘instantly’.

    I just wish i had had someone tell me that before i started ‘dating’ and lived in a society where the understanding was lived throughout all of that society.


  2. July 17, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    Tony, no advice for the dating … just sitting here imagining the wait the two of these kids had. How many of us would have waited that long? Waited that many months instead of that many years.


  3. July 19, 2009 at 5:12 am

    i’m gonna come back to you on this one…but i have to say that i had to stifle my laughter when i read the “if my wife is reading this” phrase! too funny!

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